By the grace of Kris Jenner, 2018 has blessed us with three new Kardashian ladies to keep up with. Kim Kardashian, Kylie Jenner and Khloé Kardashian have each welcomed healthy little girls into the world, bringing the Kardashian baby count up to nine (!!!). Sadly, none of these small scions are carrying on the “K” name tradition of their famous parents. Rather, they’ve been given titles worthy of Hollywood reality royalty. As they should!
On April 16, Khloé Kardashian shared a photo on Instagram revealing her newborn baby’s moniker: “Our little girl, True Thompson, has completely stolen our hearts and we are overwhelmed with LOVE,” she captioned the post. “Such a blessing to welcome this angel into the family! Mommy and Daddy loooooove you True!”
Which Kardashian baby name is the most Kardashian of the bunch? I.e. which name is the most perfectly extra, extraordinarily regal, and relevant to pop culture? With no offence intended to any of the following offspring—we love you all!—here is our ranking of the most Kardashian Kardashian names.
The eldest Kardashian child was given a pretty average name. According to Baby Centre—which I can only assume is a very reputable website—Mason is currently ranked at the #5 most popular baby name. Life as a Kardashian is hard enough… maybe a name like Mason will help the little dude blend in?
Another somewhat average name from Kourtney and Scott. Penelope is simple, cute… but it’s also the name of that Christina Ricci movie about the pig faced woman.
Being famous and all, Kylie and Travis Scott are probably too busy to read the news. Somehow, the couple completely missed Stormy Daniels’ name in the media—who, as you know, is the porn star who reportedly had an affair with Donald Trump shortly after Melania had given birth to their son Barron. That said, Stormi is an interesting name choice, and we’re glad to see it make news headlines for more reasons than one!
This name was ruthlessly mocked on Twitter, but I’m kind of a fan. The newest Kimye name has history: Kanye West is from Chicago and frequently speaks about his love for the city. Also, it’s abbreviated into a cute nickname, which is VERY important.
Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian’s little one is the only baby listed to carry the Kardashian surname. Sadly, Dream doesn’t start with a K… but it is appropriately original!
It’s catchy. It’s a play on words. What more could you want?
It doesn’t get more regal than this — unless you name your child King. (*Cough* Tyga and Blac Chyna.)
A holy blessing. A sacred child.
Alliteration! A catchy single syllable! This is what we’ve been waiting for! And, it turns out, the name True has less to do with Tristan Thompson’s cheating scandal and more to do with Kris Jenner’s heritage. “FUN FACT… my Grandfather’s name on my Dad’s side was True Otis Houghton” Mama Jenner captioned an Instagram post. “….my Dad’s name was Robert True Houghton…so i am so excited Khloe named her daughter True!!!”
A+ job Khloé, you did us well!